Ways to incorporate your culture into your wedding ceremony
Your wedding ceremony is the perfect moment to show your loved ones who you are, both as a couple and as individuals. A Humanist wedding ceremony is particularly good at taking elements from different heritages to demonstrate your love and your culture, and make everybody at your wedding feel welcome and involved.
Photos by Claire McClean
Jen + Phil’s Greek Stefana ceremony
In honour of Phil’s Greek heritage, we added a Greek stefana ceremony to their Harrogate Sun Pavilion wedding. Using the crowns Phil’s parents wore at their wedding ceremony, their best man passed the crowns or stefanas from their heads three times, making them the king and queen of a new kingdom, their home. As he held the crowns above their heads I read out three blessings:
‘May your marriage be strong and always filled with love and truth.
May your lives always have laughter.
May your love and care for each other shine through everything you do, bringing you health, happiness and peace.’
Photos by Sam Chipman at Camp Katur, Bedale
Scottish wedding inspiration at Camp Katur, North Yorkshire
Bec + Craig wanted to incorporate Craig’s Scottish heritage into their very Yorkshire woodland wedding ceremony. Craig and his groomsmen looked the part in their kilts, but we also performed a traditional Celtic handfasting ceremony as part of the wedding. Historically used to signal a couple’s intention to marry, handfasting is used by modern couples to symbolise the bonds being made between two people and two families. You can get extra Scottish heritage points by using tartan ribbons, or you can link to other cultures by using fabrics and colours significant to you, such as national flags or traditional textiles. Naturally, Bec + Craig were piped out of their wedding ceremony by a piper, announcing their arrival as a married couple.
Another Scottish wedding ritual is a loving cup ceremony, when two people drink from the same cup or quaich. Traditionally couples drink whisky, but you can choose anything!
Photo by Amy Faith
How to do a Chinese Tea Ceremony
Anatasha + Raef incorporated a Chinese Tea Ceremony into their Humanist wedding ceremony held at Gray’s Court in York. This is a Chinese tradition where newlyweds serve their relatives tea - ALL their relatives! Parents, aunts and uncles, cousins… you get the picture! The couple receive well wishes from relatives, and thank each other’s parents for raising such a lovely child. Gifts are sometimes exchanged too.
Traditionally, tea is served to the groom’s family first and then the bride’s family. Family members take turns to take tea with the newly weds, so make sure there’s a constant supply of hot water - the staff of Gray’s Court were very efficient at this task!
Because this ceremony took place immediately after their drinks reception, Anatasha + Raef decided to also have tea served to their other guests. This meant that everyone was loosely involved in the ceremony, and it was a lovely pick me up in the middle of a long wedding day!
Photos by Carmen Falkenburg
Wedding tips for bilingual couples
Roman + Hayley brought their Swiss family and friends over to Hayley’s Yorkshire homeland to celebrate their marriage. There are some lovely Swiss wedding traditions around shared tasks, such as sawing through a log or racing to cut a heart in a bedsheet, but they decided to keep their wedding ceremony classic. When it came to the wedding vows, they each made their promise in the other’s language, creating a poignant moment. I employed my slightly rusty German skills to welcome the guests, and we also provided an overview of the ceremony in Swiss German.
Bilingual wedding readings
You can also use your wedding readings to celebrate your cultural heritage. Mark + Nicole said ‘I do’ in a very intimate wedding ceremony at Swinton Estate, with just their closest relatives present. Mark asked his uncle to read a poem in English and Italian, in celebration of their American Italian heritage. The poem they chose was Ti Scelgo (I choose you) by Laura Liberale. It begins:
Ti scelgo come l'aria
perché senza di te non posso respirare
ti scelgo come l'acqua
perché senza di te non posso vivere
(I choose you like the air
because without you I can't breathe
I choose you like water
because without you I can't live).
Photos by Lily North
How to incorporate Persian wedding traditions into your wedding ceremony
Parisa + Callum’s Persian-Yorkshire fusion wedding is consistently my most popular blog post, so I know there’s a huge appetite for Persian inspired wedding ceremonies!
During the ceremony, I asked Callum and Parisa if they consented to marry. Callum promptly answered, ‘Bale’ - I do. When I asked Parisa the same question, in keeping with Persian tradition, she required more time to think - a traditional joke! While she considered her options, the bridesmaids and I made excuses for her - she needs a glass of water, she’s gone to pick flowers, until Parisa decided she was going ahead with the wedding!
The ceremony took place at The Mansion House Leeds, and Parisa’s mum had decorated the room with a sumptuous sofreh aghd (ceremony spread) of symbolic foods and objects. This included bread, sugar, seven spices, a mirror and the poetry of Rumi.
After exchanging their wedding rings, the bridesmaids led a Toorh ghand ritual. Traditionally led by happily married women, we invited everybody to take part in grinding sugar for sweetness above the newlyweds’ heads.
Iranian music also added to the Persian feel, with an Iranian version of the Wedding March and Doktare Irooni (Iranian Girl) by Andy being played. We adapted Persian blessings for the ceremony, with guests reading them in Farsi and English.
Can I celebrate my culture in a Humanist wedding ceremony?
Absolutely! Humanist ceremonies have space to incorporate every aspect of who you are, and that includes your cultural background. If you’re getting married and wondering how you can include your cultural traditions in your wedding ceremony, I’d love to chat about how we could do that - get in touch with me to book a connection call!
